playing catch up

one of my many many goals for this year is to read a book every week. so far i have kept this goal. (i won't bore you with more harry potter, but he did take up the first two weeks)

ender's game

by orson scott 

card

i decided to read it because madie loves it and it is where she got the name valentine (well one of the books anyways).... i couldn't put it down, a book that was to last the entire week instead took me a two days. the only thing that was hard for me was sometimes imagining a child going through all that ender goes through, and there were times when he was more like a little man in my mind than a child. i would definitely recommend ender's game to everyone.

confessions of a shopaholic, shopaholic takes manhattan and half of the third one

by sofie kinsella

i remembered that page loved these books so when i was at barnes and noble and it was sitting in the impulse buy section i thought why not. i really enjoyed it. it was a breezy read, i read the first book in a day and ran all around rexburg to find the second book, of all the places i went the unlikely k-mart which i had previously detested came through and about three hours later i was without the third book to keep my attention. no where in idaho has the third book, so lame, so lame. i read half of it while i was at the library with one of my kids from work, i am hoping tomorrow we go back and i can sneak in another couple of chapters. i will say that sometimes when she rambles on about prices and clothes i get a little bored, i never thought that would be something that would bore me but it does a little bit. any girl would enjoy these books i think, any boy would, i think, want to burn the book. 

coming soon..art of the month, woohoo...

the longest post ever, my apologies, but do read on...

sometimes i think: "things like this only happen to me" that may sound self involved, but seriously some weird and perhaps utterly bizarre things have happened to me in my lifetime--falling in a manhole in the dominican republic, falling down the stairs of the louvre, getting pneumonia while in one of the hottest places on earth...etc. recently, i have had a few situations that i now add to the ranks of the totally kooky...

i am not sure whether or not some of you know this or not, but apparently i am really hot to those of the male sex who are above the age of 75 (if i have to wait until i am that age to get married i might cry). i applied the rule of three to this phenomena and now it is in the theory stage. 

the first time was at a starbucks in utah. andrew, carly and i went in to get hot chocolates trying to bide the time until our mission reunion which we refused to be on time for. i notice an old man walk in (he was also maybe homeless) and think "poor old man." then i sit down next to andrew and we all start talking until andrew informs me that the old man was creepily staring at me, while andrew stifled laughter i fought back tears when i looked up and he winked at me and smiled his near toothless smile. (we made it out of there in record time). 

fast forward to a different state and a different starbucks: carly, allison and i were in line waiting to get hot chocolates to help aid our freezing bodies (today is -18 in rexburg, sick i know) when i notice that the old man in front of us is no longer facing the cashier but rather is facing us staring at carly and i. i could sense his eyes shifting as though he were thinking of something intelligent to say to us young females. i think allison sensed it too because the dork turned and left me and carly alone. of all the clever lines that i am sure went through that poor 76 year old's mind he went with "i am thinking of raising gas to $4.59 a gallon" as an ice-breaker (i doubt in all sincerity that he has any power over the price of gas). in an attempt to not be rude i go for sarcasm so that if i were to laugh it would be justified by my own wit and not the poor guy. "oh well i wish it were more like $20." yes, that is what i said, sad to say. carly laughed nervously as the guy stared blankly at me, a stare which eerily continued until carly made the joke better by saying "funny kirby, so how do you like this mug?"...then thank goodness it was the man's turn to order and we were able to evade further stares and conversation.

for two days i begrudgingly swore off all starbucks until the end of time or the age of 75 which ever came first, but then it happened again in a completely different location: walmart. i was pushing a cart walking through walmart with carly by my side. after glancing at the books and magazines we continued down the aisle until an old man (perhaps the oldest of the three cases) stopped the cart. with his arms wide open as though he were about to hug me he exclaimed "I HAVE FOUND WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, no need to shop any further" oh geez. i gave a nervous/awkward laugh and was able to hold in my "can you believe that just happened" laugh until we turned the corner and carly said "i am so offended, why didn't he say it to me too, he looked at me first and then i wasn't cute enough and he only said it to you?" (carly-again, there is nothing to be offended by, he was perhaps senile and definitely blind if he really did look at you first) 

onto the next weird moment... i have recently decided that i would like to be a teacher, i want to teach art and special ed, maybe a conglomeration of the two. so i am working at a developmental disabilities agency to see if i have what it takes. my first day, no first thirty seconds were absolutely nothing like i thought they would be, or for that matter like i feel like the should have been. 

i walk in expecting to be trained in my new position, ohhohau contraire....

"kirby good to meet you, we are too busy to train you, but **** is really easy to work with, just cuss at her and be mean to her." after shoving my eyes back in their sockets i said "umm what?" "follow me and you can meet her and i will show you" "uhh, alright??" i replied, very nervous at what i was to encounter around the corner. "hey butthead, this is kirby, you're such a punk, she is going to work with you today loser." aghast, i think "what in the world have i gotten myself into/only would this happen to me." there is just no way, i mean no way that i can be mean to her. i just cannot physically make myself be mean to a person on purpose, especially a person who is like a 3o year old infant. she is so cute when she laughs but it is mostly at swear words and comments like "you suck" (which all come from other people). i can tell that everyone else thinks i am a weirdo for not giving in and saying the f word just so she will laugh. but, i have gotten her to laugh at me when i act like a fool (which sadly i think the other staff think that i am an idiot) and yesterday i read her a story about a giant and amethysts and she laughed harder than when i played her "womanizer" by bs, i think we are making progress. now, if only the rest of the people would stop kicking her bum and calling her names i think her morbid sense of humor would switch. sidenote: i have yet to be trained other than the good "be a jerk/swear a lot" tip. 

Sugar/Suga Mama

so, when funny things happen i just cannot stop laughing. i mean i try, but occasionally it is very necessary for me to leave the room because i simply cannot control myself. recently two such occasions have arisen:

1. on sunday i was sitting in church with my mom and page. i had the hymn book still open on my lap and was listening intently to the speaker (taylor)...i heard something smack the hymnal and hesitantly looked down and saw the biggest fly i have ever seen. i shook the book hoping it would act like a normal fly and fly away. it wouldn't budge, i moved it to the left but felt really badly at shewing it towards page, so i went to the right but was met with the same dilemma because stephanie was on that side of me...split decision: put the book open in the book holder. i was trying hard not to snicker at my predicament when out of my peripheral i saw my mother dying of laughter. oh geez. i lost it...i did not want to leave because it was taylor who was speaking so i gave it my all and composed myself until i noticed mom was still laughing...after snorting...embarrassing...i started a deep breathing technique which worked and which would have come in handy a week previous when...

2. the sunday before this happened. my dad was having a christmas fireside for the youth and i was in my usual hiding place (my parents room) with the rest of my siblings past the age of 18 and valentine, until i felt i should go and help my mom with the treats. i went downstairs and was helping my mom when nelson stopped to talk to me. nelson is a boy in the ward that has special needs and we have been like bff ever since i subbed for his class at the highschool and he found out that the "morbidly obese" napoleon was my family's dog. he started to talk as usual about how he would like to train napoleon so that his heart wouldn't fail (he loves dogs) and i was saying this is a great idea. then he sees my little brother micah and the conversation proceeded as follows"

nelson: micah you remind me of a younger version of frodo from Lord of the Rings (we all chuckle a little)

tina: who do i remind you of nelson? 

nelson: judy garland (our laughter increases)

tina: oh really and what about bishop hansen?

nelson: bill gates (recieved by quizzzical looks and more laughter)

tina: uhuh and what about kasi (my mom)?

nelson: (without any hesitancy) sugar mama

OH MY WORD...we were laughing so hard, i started

 to walk out of the room knowing that i would not be able to stop laughing while in the room when nelson explained that sugar mama was the grandma from the disney program the proud family..man o man...luckily i thought of a b-rilliant plan to leave the room and compose myself while helping some people out. so, i laughed all the way to the office where i printed off a picture of sugar mama for all those who were unenlightened to the quirky looks of sugar mama. for the record: my cute beautiful mom looks nothing like sugar mama, who now that i think if it might actually be called suga mama.